


Where Do Fathers Go?

by ashangel101010



Series: Ashla and Bogan [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: And Kylo Ren takes complete advantage over that, Armitage growls like a dragon, Armitage walks and talks, Baby Armitage Hux, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Family Fluff, Foreshadowing, Gen, Guilty Hux, Hux Backstory, Hux has a huge crush on Matt the Radar Technician, Jerky Fingers, Kylo Ren really hates Brendol Hux, Labyrinth References, Little red boots with golden laces, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parallels, Parent-Child Relationship, Peaches - Freeform, Post Mpreg, Singing, Slow Dancing, Symbolism, Twin Peaks Parody, Twin Peaks References, Young Hux, kind of, sad Hux
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:21:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7572250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashangel101010/pseuds/ashangel101010
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren decides to break into the impervious fortress of General Hux’s mind. </p><p>He does this by giving Hux a poisoned peach that will put him into a deep sleep.</p><p>When Kylo Ren enters the sleeping General’s mind, the first thought he comes across is this:</p><p>“Where do fathers go?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Guess what? I found a way to be canon compliant! By exploiting the shit out of the loopholes in Armitage Hux’s presented backstory and filling it in with my twisted vision of the Expanded Universe! And you know what’s even worse, Kylo Ren uses Hux’s major crush on Matt the Radar Technician for his own selfish purposes. Which is a surprise to no one, except Hux. If he knew. Seriously, I need to write a story where Kylo Ren isn’t such a despicable asshole to Hux, even if Hux isn’t aware of it at all.

Where Do Fathers Go? Prologue

*

Suggested Theme:

Main Theme- Daydreaming by Radiohead

*

            Kylo Ren does not understand why General Hux seems so fascinated by Matt the Radar Technician. He’s always staring at him. And not in the icy way that the General seems to reserve for officers who make stupid mistakes or when he catches Kylo Ren destroying yet another control panel.

No, this look is strange. Or rather, it’s the General’s eyes that are strange.

Normally, the General’s eyes are blue and cold like ice water. Those are the eyes that occupy the General’s face and command respect from everyone and everything. Even from the Master of the Knights of Ren. Those are the same arrogant eyes that Kylo Ren relishes making them narrow when he destroys some expensive machine aboard the _Finalizer_.

But with Matt, however, the General’s eyes become green. And, no, it’s not the kind of green that blue-green eyes have. This green is solid, not a trace of icy blue, and so very isolated.

It’s almost like a clicking sound can be heard when the General’s eyes change. In the Force, he can _see_ a flicker in the General’s nonexistent, dark presence. It’s not illumination, but, rather, a regeneration. Like a limb that has been hacked off and grows back again.

This is how Kylo Ren as Matt can detect the usually undetectable presence of General Hux.

Kylo Ren took up the disguise as Matt the Radar Technician to prove to himself, and the coldhearted General, that he can fix his own messes. And to be honest, Kylo really enjoys being Matt.

Matt the Radar Technician does not command respect or fear. He is just an average-looking person with an average job. He can blend in with the _normal_ population and watch these people go about with their _normal_ lives. And he learns more things about them from just listening to these people gossip than he ever did from casually perusing their minds.

Like there’s a First Order Betting Pool and it’s allegedly run by Captain Phasma and Chief Petty Officer Umano. And within that umbrella, Matt discovered how depraved bets can be. Most of the sexual ones could make even a Sith Lord blush. Especially the ones involving the General.

Most of the bets make the General out to be some Casanova with great sexual prowess. Because of this, Matt half-expected the General to be staring at him with hints of lust, or even picturing some perverse sexual act.

But the General’s stares, his green eyes, are…innocent. He’s not looking at Matt with apodyopsis. No, it’s more reserved, almost fretful. Like the General wants to do something for Matt but can’t. Another mystery to the unknown General.

Kylo Ren does not like mysteries in people. The Force allows him to unravel mysteries, even from Force-blind individuals. He likes being privy to secrets that are never told to him. General Hux is holding so many secrets in himself that he must be bursting at the seams, but his mind does not reflect that state. The General’s mind is like a mass of crawling shadows, preventing someone as skilled as Kylo Ren from getting even a glimpse into the General’s headspace.

He wants to know. He wants to break into the General’s impervious, mental fortress and see who the General really is. He wants to see what kind of _soul_ he has, if any.

And this is where Matt the Radar Technician gets to be finally put to good use. Kylo Ren knows that the General has a soft-spot for the technician; he never yells at the technician for being slow in his repairs or curse at him for laying out his tools in the middle of the hallway. No, he never says anything to technician; he just watches him like some distant sentinel.

Matt knows, through the loud chatter of the cooking staff, that the General loves peaches. He’s the only one on the ship that loves to eat the peach muffins, rather than the far superior dark chocolate-chip muffins.

Matt also knows that there are areas on the ship, very few, where the security cameras do not record; Kylo Ren plans on taking advantage of one of the blackspots in the security feed and destroy some important equipment near the blackspot. When some passerby, most likely a Stormtrooper, inevitably reports on Kylo Ren’s latest machinery destruction, Matt will be the one who volunteers to “repair” it.

And like always, the General will come to supervise him. Most likely during his lunchtime or barely a second after the end of his shift. He will think that the technician has not spotted him and will continue to watch him in silence.

Except, Matt will be the one to approach the General and offer to share his peach with him. And he knows that the General will not refuse, especially after Matt takes a bite to prove it has not been poisoned, his favorite fruit.

And once the General takes a bite out of the peach, he will fall into a sleep like death. That is when Kylo Ren will finally have access to the tight-lipped General’s thoughts and he’ll know all of the General’s secrets without the General’s knowledge.

_I wonder what the first thought I’ll come across his mind. Probably on something like budget or cursing me for destroying another useless control panel. Oh well, I finally get to see what the General is really made of. Probably snips, and snails, and puppy dog tails. But I finally get to behold the General’s soul, to touch it, to tear it apart until it yields me all of his secrets. And it will all be thanks to his “fascination” for Matt. Simple, innocent Matt._

*

Today is General Hux’s birthday. It is the thirteenth standard day of the twelfth standard month, and today is his birthday. And like every night before his birthday for the past twenty-five years, he did not sleep. It is not out of some childish excitement that exists for _normal_ people. It is out of dread because it marks the passing of another year. Another year where he’s still a failure. Where he has yet to answer the question that his plaguing him since he was barely five:

_Where do fathers go?_

No one wishes him a happy birthday. No one congratulates him for making it pass another year. There will be no birthday cake waiting for him at the end of his long day. It’s just another day for General Hux, except it’s not. Today’s the day in which he feels the weight of all his mistakes and his failures crush him, but he never shows it. He’s just very skilled at not showing his despondency by hiding behind his stern countenance.

Yet today, he feels worse than usual. Right now, he’s curled up under his desk with his knees tucked under his chin. If anyone were to walk in, they would notice that the General was not in his office at the moment. They would probably shrug and just leave, not bothering to investigate further.

And perhaps that’s why he feels worse than usual. He knows that no one on this ship loves him. They care about their General but only to the extent that they rest their survival and some of their hopes on his thin shoulders. They use him more than he uses them.

So when his comlink goes off, he is happy for the minute distraction from his self-hatred. He hears Captain Phasma reporting that Lord Ren has once again destroyed some expensive piece of equipment and slammed some of her men into the walls before storming out like the volatile tool that he is.

Hux can feel his face contort halfway into a smile. Today, just for today, he is very grateful to Lord Ren. Normally, he’s exasperated by how much of the budget that Lord Ren’s latest temper tantrum will eat into. He actually had to give himself a pay cut and do away with his bonus this year, so he wouldn’t have to slash any of his hardworking staff’s paychecks. He knows that Lieutenant Mitaka is going to need all the money he can get for the upcoming birth of his third daughter.  

Again, Hux will probably have to give himself another pay cut depending on the extent of Lord Ren’s latest rampage. But he gets to see Matt the Radar Technician again.

 _Matt Amidala_ is his latest passion. And the reason why he secretly enjoys it when Lord Ren gets lightsaber-happy. Usually, or at least the past eleven standard months not like Hux was counting, Matt is the one who _volunteers_ to clean up Lord Ren’s mess.

When he first saw Matt, it was when he was casually strolling by Lord Ren’s latest disaster site, trying to make his way to his quarters without being noticed. He was worn from dealing with the ever-disapproving High Command and defending himself, once again, against Lord Ren during one of their bi-weekly meetings with Supreme Leader Snoke.

Matt had his tools laid out and was gingerly trying to salvage whatever wiring that wasn’t burnt to hell by Lord Ren’s unstable lightsaber. He wasn’t humming under his breath or stealthily cursing the Knight of Ren; his concentration was so intense that he did not even register that the General was standing right behind him.

Hux was reminded of Jaina when she was trying to rebuild the engine to a half-destroyed TIE fighter. She was so absorbed in making sure that all of the parts were properly assembled that Hux was able to throw a pebble at the back of her head and she didn’t even bother to turn around and cuss him out like she would’ve normally done.

Hux was absolutely certain that he could’ve done the same thing to Matt and get no reaction from him. But Hux didn’t want to do something puerile to Matt. He found it so soothing watching this random technician fixing practically-destroyed control panels; it was like watching ocean waves lapping at the sandy shores of Rakata Prime. The technician worked so cautiously and methodically that thirty minutes passed before Hux even realized it.

It was only when the technician stood up that Hux realized he’s been watching some complete stranger work for a long time. He also got his first good look at the technician. The technician was about five centimeters taller than him, and his frame was much bigger than his. Not in heavy weight, but by the bulging muscles hidden beneath the loose grayish-green jumpsuit. He had a golden nametag pinned to his neon-orange vest:

_Matt_

_The name fits the technician_ , Hux decided that he liked the name. It was a name that does not bring him stress unlike _Kylo Ren_. It also wasn’t Imperial-sounding, the kind that you would give a bastard, like his own, _Armitage_.

Matt’s hair was a mass of mildly curling, blonde locks. However, he could see some nearly-black locks sticking out from under the blonde leading Hux to believe that Matt must dye his hair. He had a large nose but it fit well with his large lips, big brown eyes accented by his glasses, and protruding ears; his slightly-large features remind him a bit of the Commandant’s face. And just like the name, Hux liked Matt’s face.

Matt didn’t say anything to him, no _hello, sir_ or _would you like something, General_ ; in fact, it looked like he was waiting for something. And Hux realized his error for not announcing his presence earlier. Matt thought that Hux was here to reprimand him for doing something wrong, when Hux really wanted to just keep on watching Matt work. So Hux decided to leave without saying a word and return to his quarters.

In the privacy of his quarters, he slapped himself hard. He was embarrassed at himself for just walking away like some peeping tom that got caught red-handed. He almost went back out there to explain himself to Matt, to tell him that he wasn’t there to criticize him, until he remembered who he was:

_General Hux_

It would be quite a detriment to his reputation for apologizing to an underling, particularly one who doesn’t technically work for him, for simply supervising. Yes, that’s what Hux told himself; he was just supervising. He then spent about thirty minutes obsessively searching for Matt in the First Order database. He wanted to make sure that Matt was most qualified for his position, or so he told himself.  

 _Name: Matt Amidala. Birthplace: Unknown. Age: 25. Occupation: Radar Technician._ Hux was not perturbed by the lack of information in Matt’s file. Nor was he suspicious. The moment he saw _Birthplace: Unknown_ he knew it meant that Matt was an orphan. Usually, orphans, particularly those abandoned at birth, of the First Order were put in the Stormtrooper program unless they were deemed physically unfit or had genius-level intellect in a certain field.

Hux immediately presumed that Matt must be a wizard at mechanics or radars, or something like that. However, he must lack ambition if he was still just a Radar Technician at his young age. Or he was completely satisfied with where he was in life. If it was the latter, then Hux, secretly, wished he could feel the same.

And from that first meeting, Hux made it his mission to watch Matt whenever he was able to. Which was not as often as he would’ve liked, but the end results were the same: Matt brought him peace. For Hux, peace was never something he could make for himself; his life, even after the Academy, was a crusade for an answer to his life’s greatest question:

_Where do fathers go?_

Matt does not make him forget that ever-burning question, but he does make him feel like he doesn’t _have to_ search for the answer in that instance. He would never say anything during his _supervision_ , while Matt returned the silence with even more silence. Sometimes, the blonde technician would look at him, but his glances would waver back to his work after a couple of seconds.

Always, Hux would feel words claw at the back of his throat like _how are you_ , _do you like what you are doing_ , _why do you even do this_ , and _hello, my name is Armitage Hux, and I really, really like your name._ And like always, Hux would resist himself, resist the words that would screech across his mind like the dirge of a dying dragon, for this simple reason: he will not ruin Matt.

Hux is very aware of what horrors he will unleash upon the galaxy; the Commandant told him the prophecy when he was sixteen. He is very aware how he will die; Mara told him his ending when he was seventeen. He will never make it to forty and the galaxy shall rejoice in his death, but at least there will be snow. And by then, he hopes, really the only private hope he has anymore, to answer that dolor:

_Where do fathers go?_

So he gives himself a troth: he will not ruin Matt. Hux’s fate has been signed and has been sealed; he is just waiting for deliverance. He will not start a relationship that will just bring Matt down with him. Matt deserves happiness, even if his happiness seems to be doing his mediocre job. And if he does not say anything to Matt or even touch Matt, then there’s no way he can ruin him.

He will not ruin Matt.

He will not ruin Matt.

_I will not ruin—_

“Would you like a peach, sir?” Hux is snapped out of his cerebration by a man’s voice. Hux escapes his mind and sees that Matt is standing right before him. His plush lips are slightly open, and his bespectacled eyes are not looking directly at him, reminding Hux of a child slightly afraid for asking a question. It takes a minute for Hux to finally rip his intense gaze from the inwardly squirming technician and look down.

A peach. In Matt’s outstretched, massive, hand is a peach. This peach is perhaps the most beautiful-looking peach that he has ever seen. It’s lightly fuzzed with shades of soft reds and creamy yellows. It’s the kind of peach that would be fed to a queen.

“For you, sir.” Hux’s throat tightens and he barely manages to hold back the tears in his eyes. Today is his birthday, and it’s been twenty-six years now since someone actually gave him a gift. _Don’t you fucking cry! Force-dammnit, do that when you get to your quarters! But not in front of Matt….Matt who is kind enough to actually give me something without even knowing that today’s……my birthday._

“I…..am sorry. I….thought maybe….I-I’ll just return to my work, sir.” Matt bites his lips like it will stop their trembling. Hux can see that Matt’s eyes have dimmed into an even a darker shade. Rejection. Matt looks like he’s been rejected. Hux rashly swipes the peach from the technician’s hands, briefly feeling Matt’s callused palm. He then takes a huge bite of the peach; he actually prefers eating peaches with their skin.

It tastes divine almost as divine as the light returning to Matt’s doleful eyes. Hux takes another bite. And then another. And another. Not caring one bit that the peach juices are dribbling down his chin and staining his uniform. He eats and eats and eats, until there’s nothing but the hard pit and the stem.

Hux then begins to pant heavily like he’s barely managed to save himself. _Well…..there goes my image of the stalwart, professional General. I must look like a crazy person to him. Who the Hells just takes a peach, without even saying so much as a “thank you”, and eats it like some ravenous rancor wolf!? Me, that’s who!_

“Matt, I—” Hux hears himself slur his words like he drank too much mull wine. _W-What? Why….am I so woozy? Matt is looking at me. He looks really worried. Got to tell him he’s not at fault._ Words seem unable to form in his mind, so Hux reaches out with his right hand; he strokes Matt’s cheek, and then falls. Matt catches him.

He’s slipping. His mind is going. To where? He does not know. But he does know that he’s in Matt’s arms, Matt’s comforting arms. Matt is like a deep-space angel. He manages one last thought before he goes:

_Where do fathers go?_

*


	2. Just on the border of your waking mind,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt, or rather Kylo Ren, brings the sleeping General to an unused storage closet and finally has his way with him. Or rather, his mind. And Kylo Ren gets to experience perhaps the happiest time in Hux’s life: faetus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a horrible person for doing this to Hux. It may not seem like that in this chapter and maybe the next few since they’re mostly fluff, but soon it will be very apparent. May God, or really the Force, have mercy on my soul.

Where Do Fathers Go? Chapter One

*

Suggested Theme:

Main Theme- Prologue/Twilight by Electric Light Orchestra

*

            The General was not supposed to eat the entire peach. He was supposed to only have one bite and he would’ve fallen into his deep sleep. Matt, or rather Kylo Ren, had left the peach soaking in the jar of Sith sleeping poison all night in case the General was one of those people who didn’t like eating the fuzzy skin. Apparently, he didn’t need to go through all that work.

When the General first took a bite of the peach, Kylo Ren was very happy because his plan was going to work, and he wouldn’t have to bite into the peach himself and take the foul-tasting antidote afterwards. But then, the General just devours the entire peach like he’s been starved for days. And considering how awful most of the meals are from the cafeteria, Kylo wouldn’t be surprised if the General was just happy to have something that didn’t taste like sulfuric ash.

However, Kylo quickly realizes that the General’s consumption may cause his slumber to be irreversible, or at least until Kylo can cook up enough antidote to wake the General up. He frowns and becomes very worried at the prospect of the General never waking up. His Master would be furious to know that he accidently killed one of the most brilliant military minds at the First Order’s disposal.

“M-Mat-t I—” Kylo widens his eyes when he hears the General slur his words. _Shit, he’s coming towards me! Did he figure out that I poisoned him!?_ Kylo nearly instinctively backs away from the dizzy-looking General, but the General closes the gap between them with his hand on Kylo’s cheek.

_Okay, that’s weird, but he’s not hitting—frak, he’s falling!_ Kylo catches the General before his head could crack open on the hard, metal grate under them. Kylo watches as the General’s eyelids flutter close and he can hear the General’s heartrate slow.

And for the first time, he _hears_ an unprotected thought escape the General’s mind:

_Where do fathers go?_

*

Kylo lifts the General up and carries him like a bride to the threshold of the nearby storage closet of emergency cots. _Force, he’s really light! Does he even eat? I bet a bag of chicken bones and leaves weigh more than him! I get this feeling his uniform adds about five pounds to his lithe frame and makes him seem intimidating. Ha, he actually looks gentle when he’s asleep like this. He actually looks more like a……man. I hope he doesn’t die from the sleeping poison._

The storage closet is about 3x3 square meters and is thankfully still located in the blackout area of the security feed, so Kylo doesn’t have to worry about some meddlesome Stormtrooper or officer coming to investigate. Or at least for the next couple of hours. _At worse, I’ll just inform the staff that the General and I have an emergency meeting with the Supreme Leader and we must not be disturbed unless the ship is under attack._

Kylo locks the door and props Hux against a wall. He goes to the far end, which only takes him about four short steps to reach, and grabs one of the dusty, unused cots. The emergency cots look more like hammocks wrapped around two metal poles. All of the cots are same in design which consists of a black “bedding” and the red logo of the First Order stitched onto it. _Geez, why the Hells couldn’t they get real cots? These look more like cocoons made by an army of militant caterpillars!_

He unfurls the “cot” in the middle of the tiny room, while Hux continues to sleep deeply in his corner. _It really is a hammock, just a full-body one. It’s spongy too and soft…_ Kylo tests out the cot and lets out a moan of pleasure. _Okay, this is even comfier than my bed! It’s small, but I can easily fit Hux in here with me…well, as soon as I take off my bulky uniform._

But first, Kylo gets off the cot and goes to Hux’s corner. He picks him up again, marveling once more at the lack of weight in his arms. _Maybe after this, I’ll give Hux a giant fudge cake; he should gain like a desperately needed pound or two._ He puts Hux on the cot, not even bothering to take off Hux’s boots. He then goes to strip himself of his technician uniform.

He is down to his black singlet and his equally-black boxer-briefs. He removes his clunky glasses and tosses them carelessly onto the clothes and boots pile. He also takes off his cheap wig and happily abandons it on the cold, metal floor. _How the Hells Hux bought the Matt the Radar Technician disguise I don’t now…for now. Force, I hope Hux isn’t as boring as his uniform. Or a closeted sexual deviant; I really need to stop looking up the “sex bets” before bed._

He climbs into the cot with Hux and only has to reposition several of Hux’s limbs to comfortably fit. _It’s like hugging a body pillow…or a corpse in a coffin. He feels cold, but he’s always been cold. And apparently weird. Who the Hells actually wolfs down a peach like that!? I better seal the cot, so some heat can start flowing and maybe warm up this icy ginger!_

Kylo wraps the cot around them and hears a slight sticky sound as though the seal was being held together by glue. He has to swivel his head a bit to find a semi-comfortable position on Hux’s boney shoulder. He hears Hux’s veins thrumming lightly and breathes a sigh of relief that Hux is still very much alive. Kylo’s final thought before he dives into Hux’s mind is:

_He smells like green tea._

And while the minds of the pair have disconnected from the world, their bodies remain entangle in the ever-present, warm darkness.

*

He can’t see anything. Kylo can’t see anything and at first he almost believes he isn’t in Hux’s mind, that he had somehow fell asleep in the cot and forgot to bring Hux with him.

**_I’m pregnant……I didn’t think it was possible for me to even sire……let alone conceive._** The words sound so soft that Kylo has to concentrate hard on the words to even hear them.

**_If you’re using contractions, then the situation must be dire._** He can tell that this is a different voice because it sounds more….guttural yet restrain like he’s used to giving orders. _Who the Hells are these people? And where the Hells am I?_

**_Brendol, I am not cozening you! See, here are all six of the pregnancy tests I took!_** _Oh, is this like when Hux was conceived? So he must’ve been like four months or something to be able to hear this. But how can he remember this far back? Then again, this has bad sound quality like an ancient holofilm, so this memory could be deep from within his subconscious._ Kylo feels his own Force turn into a shadowy smile; he finds it fitting that Hux cannot seem to relinquish even the earliest memory.

**_I can see and read just fine…did you really have to take six? Two would’ve sufficed._** _I’m getting this feeling that Brendol Hux is more earthbound than Hux’s……mother? His mother’s voice sounds a bit too masculine. Actually, it sounds like a voice of a rudimentary AI, except a tad more hysterical. But not to Threepio-levels. Clearly, Hux wasn’t planned._ And Kylo doesn’t think Hux any less for that revelation; he knows very well what it’s like to be unwanted.

**_Well, I thought the most normal part of me was my manhood, but apparently I do not even get that luxury! Oh Force, what if the baby has an eye on the back of his head like me? Or is Force-cursed!? Or—_ **

**_Worry about that rubbish later; there is only one question you should be figuring out right now. Do you want to have the child?_** _What the Hells? Why is Brendol Hux, the legendary Commandant Hardass and most likely verbal/physical abuser of his own child if the rumors from the crew are anything to believe, being...considerate? Shouldn’t he be ordering, “You’re going to have my bastard spawn and I’ll build him up to be the coldhearted bastard that will soar through the First Order ranks!” Pfassk, I feel even worse for Hux…even his own father was thinking about aborting him._ Kylo preemptively deduces.

**_I….but you could be ruined by this! By me! Your reputation—_ **

**_You do realize that I will never go beyond Commandant? I don’t have the ancient “noble-inbred” lineage nor the bottomless wealth to improve my station any further. And even if I wanted to, I lack the strategical ingenuity and political fortitude of Grand Admiral Thrawn to be…well, the next Grand Admiral Thrawn. And I certainly wouldn’t be the first Imperial to have a bastard._ **

**_Well…what about Lady Maratelle? I know your marriage is blanc-lavender, but I don’t think she would be pleased that her lawful husband is literally having a child with another man!_ ** _Oh…oh kriff! Hux doesn’t even have a mom! He has two dads……wait, is the one freaking out a mutant? Because who the Hells have an eye on the back of their head? It actually might explain the possibility of Hux’s conception…that and his fathers probably didn’t use condoms._

**_There are only two things she cares about: her books and reading her books. As long as the child doesn’t fuck up any of her books, she’s not going to give a shit. So it’s all down to you: do you want to keep the child?_** _At least, Brendol Hux loves……Hux’s other father. I bet that went away with the Empire._ Kylo wonders if there’s a file on Hux’s other father. _Hux wouldn’t be the first child with same-sex parents, but I think he might be one of the few actually conceived without a surrogate or in a test tube._

**_I…..Yes, I do. I won’t be…like my father._** He then hears a loud, wet smack vibrating through the memory. _Wait, did Brendol Hux smack the other father’s belly? No, the sound isn’t right for a slap. It’s a kiss……he kissed his belly. Was he trying to kiss the unborn Hux?_ Kylo feels himself shiver at the saccharine act.

**_Triclops, you’ll never be him. Nor will the child._** _Triclops? Who the Hells names a kid, or a pregnant man in this case, Triclops? Oh……it probably stems from his secret third eye……his father must’ve been a dick! Well, at least they seem like they want Hux now, even if he’s an accident._ Kylo wonders what exactly went wrong for the expecting fathers to turn out something like…..General Hux.

*

Kylo feels the darkness shaking like an earthquake has erupted in Hux’s mind. _Pfassk, is he waking up!? No kriffing way is that even possible; he’ll be lucky if he’s not comatose!_ He considers getting out of Hux’s mind to make certain that nothing outside of their cocoon was affecting them.

**_Oh, you do not enjoy the rain. The rain makes you squirm._** _Oh, so Triclops is outside standing in the rain. Huh, I kind of thought Hux would actually like rain since he was born on a planet famous for it._ He feels light shakes like Triclops was going inside on the behest of his unborn son.

**_Better? Oh, you are fluttering again like a prince on a ballroom floor. But you are good like the Jedi. My Jedi Prince._** Kylo momentarily gags at _Jedi_ , but then he admires the sentiment that Triclops in parts in those words. _At least, his……carrier? Other father? Triclops clearly loves his son. Too bad, Hux probably doesn’t consciously remember it; maybe that’s part of the reason why he’s such an asshole. Well, later in life._

**_But I still want to be with the rain….oh, I know! Let us head back to our room and watch from the window._** More little quakes but this time at a faster pace. _How big is Triclops now? If Hux can hear and respond, then he must be like six or seven months. Well, if Chewie’s lessons on obstetrics are anything to go by._

**_The rain is so wonderful. Rain was so rare on Kessel just like mercy…._** Kylo hears the deep sigh like an ocean wave. He could listen to Triclops sigh for hours; it’s a lovely sound like gentle whispers in the night.

**_I know you do not like the rain, but this world is lovely because of the rain. I hope you can appreciate that one day._** _I don’t know about that. Born and raised on a planet that rains almost all the time must grate on a person. But to someone like Triclops……I guess rain is better than mercy. But why the Hells was he on Kessel?_ Kylo knows that Kessel was once an Imperial prison world where criminals and political dissenters were forced to work in the spice mines until they died. _Lando told me that place was a living hell where no prisoner came out sane._

**_Even if you do not, I will love you. I will love you for all of your differences. I will love you for all of your mistakes. I will love you even if you hate me. Just remember, my Jedi Prince, that I will always love you._** Kylo feels like he should be disgusted by this overwrought promise, this breakable vow, but he feels himself burning. And he does not know what’s burning him.

_Is it my emotions? Is it the Force? It burns, but it’s not tearing me apart. Is this……Hux’s feeling? Is this Hux’s first feeling? But he’s just a fetus! He doesn’t know what love is or even see in the dark at this stage! Why……how is this happening? Is it really:_

_Love, love, love, love, love…._

*

**_What are you going to name your son?_** _Wait, it’s……Brendol Hux again. Wow, what an ass; he didn’t even view Hux as his own even when he was in the womb._ Kylo wonders how much time has passed after the last memory. But it must’ve been a couple of months since the noise outside has become clearer.

**_If he has brown hair and silver eyes, I will name him Ken._ ** _Okay, “Ken Hux” sounds really, really unimpressive name for a future First Order General. Sounds like the name of a lame boy doll. Plus, that clearly didn’t happen since Hux is a ginger with….blue-green eyes? I’m guessing Hux took after the Commandant in coloration…and maybe in being a coldhearted dick to nearly everyone. Except me…I mean Matt._

**_Yeah, I’m not exactly that knowledgeable in the Force, but I think genetics would dictate that the child will most likely have my stupid hair color and maybe your green eyes. And if not, then he might have your white hair and my blue eyes. Or some other combination. But most likely, he’ll have my accursed red hair with blue eyes…given your parentage._ ** _Triclops has white hair and green eyes…I don’t know if that’s common for mutants. He could be part alien too which would explain the unlikely hair color. Then again, he is a man bearing a child, so his color could be just part of his mutant heritage. And Brendol Hux actually hates his own hair color? So he does have insecurities._

**_I do not see what color my son will be. But I would like for him to have her eyes and her hair…..to see Kendalina live again._ ** _Okay, I need to add “Kendalina” to the list of things I need to look up after I’m done with Hux. Maybe she was like his friend in Kessel……or fellow inmate. And what does he mean by “see?”_

**_The child isn’t Kendalina’s; he’s……our creation. But he is your son. So if you want to name him Ken, then that’s your choice. Just don’t name him after me._** _So the Commandant accepts that he sired Hux but isn’t going to help raise him……I’m going to do Hux a favor and just murder the Commandant when this is over. Hux might actually thank me and not bitch to me about ruining his ship for once._ He then feels soft vibrations that remind him of a deep purr; he knows that it can’t possibly be coming from the fetal Hux.

**_What is so detestable about your name? It is like your hair color, a foible in your perfect Imperial shell._** _Oh Force, he sounds horny! Ugh, I don’t want to s—hear Hux’s parents doing it! Why did Hux’s subconscious had to hold onto this memory!_ Kylo considers forcefully skipping this memory; it would hurt Hux, but it’s not like Hux would be able to respond.

**_Because I don’t want people to call him “Junior” or “Number Two” or something insipid like that. You might as well name him Volpau or something noble-sounding; I mean he’s still got noble blood even if it’s mingled with my swain blood._ ** _So the Commandant wasn’t born an aristocrat or came from some semi-notable military family! Then again, I don’t think Commandants of the Empire necessarily had to be from the echelons of society; but without the right bloodlines and bottomless bank accounts as aforementioned, he won’t be able to advance beyond Commandant……unless he was bloody Thrawn._

**_Actually, we would be considered royal…even if we are bastards. Perish the thought about your commoner blood! You are more mercenary than swain, more sword than blaster, but most of all you are my Dancing Dragonsnake._** _What the Hells is a dancing dragonsnake? Is it some kind of dragon? Snake? Or maybe it’s some sort of sex thing…but I think I should be focusing more on the royal part, so Triclops is a bastard of some royal which would make Hux a royal in a sense. So Hux could have a claim to a throne depending on the planet and its inheritance laws. He might be a prince like me!_ Kylo feels a small smile dance across his face in the physical world.

**_And wouldn’t it be meet for the child to be a dragon? Perhaps, you could name him Bogan? It would certainly be more respectable than The Black Dragon!_ ** _Hux doesn’t deserve to be called Bogan! He’s not Force-sensitive and he certainly wouldn’t make a great Dark Sider like me, even if he was he’d probably pull a Sidious on my Master. Although, given his near-emotionless attitude, he’d probably make a decent Jedi._

**_Or Ashla if he came out white. But I am still uncertain what I would name if he does not have brown hair and silver eyes._** _Hux as a dragon…that would’ve been awesome! I mean he’d probably be one of those arrogant dragons that liked to roast princesses on his mountain of gold, but I could’ve tamed him with the Force. And I could ride him into battle!_ He wonders if there is a Sith ritual to turn someone into a dragon.

**_Maybe something long? Because he’s already has it easy enough in spelling his last name. But nothing as awfully long as Ederlathh or Pallopides._ ** _Those are actual names? Clearly, those people never became notable except for their awfully long names._

**_……Armitage._** _Wait, I think that’s Hux’s actual first name. I mean I didn’t really care about his name while I was reading his file, but I vaguely remember the name. I don’t think I really like his name. It’s just………too much like a surname. I mean I don’t know anyone else with that as a first name; I’ve seen it as a last name in holofilms._ Kylo vaguely remembers watching a movie about some dwarf king played by an actor with _Armitage_ as a last name when he was a very young child named Ben.

**_Have you foreseen it?_ ** _What? No comment on that name? Wait, can Triclops see the future or something? Is he Force-sensitive? Or possibly crazy?_

**_The future is elusive, the present is labile, and the past is antiquity. Armitage is magnified by eventide. Armitage is vitiated by Bogan. Armitage is loved by the neophyte. Yes, Armitage will be his name!_** _Triclops is some kind of prophet……maybe Triclops’s prophecy is what chills Hux’s soul. He’s predicted all these great, super-cryptic things for Hux, but I doubt any of them came true. Maybe if he was great with the Force like grandfather, but Hux is just a…mostly ordinary man._ Once again, he feels sympathy for Hux. Because, once again, Hux has no choice.

*

Lots of thrumming and quakes start with no end in sight. Kylo feels like he’s suffering from vertigo and hopes he doesn’t vomit on Hux in the physical world. _Is Hux being born now? Or is someone beating the shit on Triclops’s pregnant form? Well, Hux didn’t die from this but……_

**_BRENDOL!_** Kylo hears Triclops’s scream. This scream is not one of pleasure; this is one of agony and fear. Kylo normally relishes those kind of screams, especially after being lectured by the General. This time, he does not like Triclops’s screaming because it reminds him of himself. It reminds him of sleepless nights when the Force was tearing him apart.

**_Could you just return to breaking my hand instead of my eardrums?_ ** _Yeah, he’s not getting any for a while. So Hux must be getting birthed……but I don’t think Triclops dies from this. The Commandant sounds…funny but calm._

**_BRENDOL!!_** This time it’s a scream of anger. _Huh, I wonder if he did that on purpose to get him to focus on something other than the pain. Pain is necessary for higher purposes, but I doubt that a pregnant man giving birth feels that way._ More screams vibrate through the fragile cage holding baby Hux.

Kylo does not see anything because Hux cannot see anything at this stage in his early life. _Babies can see once outside the womb but only at very close distances and not exactly in color until they’re about five months……it’s kind of disturbing how I remember this baby stuff more than I do about how to use a bowcaster._

Finally, there’s light and he hears Hux finally cry; he also hears crying from one of the parents. Most likely, Triclops.

“Brendol…….does he have a third eye?” Blessedly, Triclops sounds clear and extremely fatigued. He sees Hux, from the newborn’s point of view, being cleaned and toweled by large, tan hands. _Is that the doctor’s hands or a nurse’s……most people use meddroids, or at least back in the Empire days._

“No, not even on the back of his head. His toes, fingers, and itty-bitty cock are all here. But he’s cursed with my damn hair color!” Kylo can see the man holding baby Hux. He has a beard of fire-colored hair with perfectly-gelled, equally-red hair. He has a large nose and plush lips; his eyes are a bright blue, while his skin is almost golden-brown. _This is Brendol Hux! By the Force……his nose is bigger than mine!_ Kylo delights.

“Bring him to me, Brendol.” Triclops lightly orders. _Triclops sounds like he’s going to keel over any second now! Are all pregnancies that draining? Certainly._ Brendol hands Hux off to Triclops.

“Oh……..he’s mine.” _HOLY SHIT!_ Kylo reels in shock at Triclops’s face. The first thing that jumped out to Kylo was that the man has scars, deep, circular scars around his temples like someone electrocuted him at an insane asylum in a holohorror. His eyes are green like emeralds and his face looks gaunt even though Kylo is certain that Triclops must’ve put on weight during the pregnancy. His hair is white, and not like a blonde-white, it is white like Shiraya’s moon. _And now I can see where Hux gets pasty complexion from……although, I think Hux has more color. Almost like a peach._

“Yes, he is. Welcome to the Force-forsaken galaxy, Armitage Hux.” Brendol Hux nearly coos at the infant he helped create. Kylo watches as Triclops beams at his son in his arms.

“Even though this galaxy will certainly burn one day, I am glad you are here, my son.” Triclops barely knelt his head and kisses his son on his cheek. And Kylo feels at peace.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Comments- Okay, here are the links:   
> The cot that Kylo and Hux occupy “together” is entirely based upon the cradle or rather the spongy hammock from Arthur C. Clarke’s and Gentry Lee’s The Garden of Rama: [Link](http://www.grough.co.uk/lib/img/editorial/SnugpakHammock_closed_up.jpg)
> 
> Triclops is Hux’s father in this story. I know very well that most likely in the new canon that Hux actually has a mom and an asshole for a father because so-far from the one page I read on his backstory makes it seem like his past is pretty cookie-cutter unloved-by-his-father-or-maybe-both-his-parents-because-he’s-a-bastard-villain. However, the one page I read, and the subsequent comments, did not say if Hux’s other parent was definitively a woman. So I decided to spice up what is most likely going to be a very by-the-numbers backstory with one my favorite headcanons that I somewhat employed in Matt the Friend series: having Hux be directly related to Emperor Palpatine.
> 
> And for those of you who have never explored the depths of Legends/Expanded Universe, Triclops is Emperor Palpatine’s human-mutant son that he had through a genetic experiment with some unfortunate woman named Niobe or possibly Sly Moore. Either way, he’s Palpatine’s son/bastard who eventually became a failure in his father’s eyes and got sent to the Kessel spice mines. In the Expanded Universe, he had a son with Kendalina, who was known as the Jedi Princess, named Ken who would also be known as the Jedi Prince. So in a far-fetched sense, Armitage Hux is sort of Ken but with different parents and vastly different lives. So here’s a picture of Triclops: [Link](http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/7/78/Triclops_EGTC.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130913192216)
> 
> I threw in a lot of “eggs” into this chapter like with certain names. I also used some pertinent information from The Jedi Path and The Book of Sith which should play a role later….or pretty soon for young Hux’s life. 
> 
> I had a bit of fun writing Kylo’s commentary because he knows nothing about Hux so far and is just surprised about what he learns. And he’s subconsciously drawn to Hux just like Hux is drawn to him, or rather Matt. But for different reasons like Hux is very lonely while Kylo is very nosey. Also, I’m having a lot of fun right now searching for loopholes in Hux’s backstory. But, the fluff is going to last a little bit, and then I get to punish Kylo for his assumptions.


	3. There lies another time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren watches, somewhat, passively as Hux sees in color for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff and Kylo Ren loses his shit……the first of many during this story.

Where Do Fathers Go? Chapter Two

**

Suggested Theme:

Main Theme- Von by Yoko Kanno feat. Arnór Dan

**

            Kylo Ren watches silently as Hux bounces through the many firsts of his mostly black-and-white, blotchy early infancy. For him, it is like watching an ancient holo from the time that holos were first invented, before they were properly colored, before they were even crystal-blue. It’s mostly close-ups of Triclops that occupy baby Hux’s infantile memory, which makes Kylo oddly happy.

_Triclops is raising Hux. All. By. Himself. And he’s not handing him off to a nanny droid, which I’m more than fucking certain that the Commandant can afford, or begging for the Commandant’s help. He’s so……selfless and happy. Who the Hells is actually happy raising a child by himself? Especially when the sire is more than content coming back to his fucking bed, night after bloody night, and stealing Hux’s milk—since when are Triclops’s eyes green?_ Kylo is ripped from his rant when he notices that the color in Hux’s memory decides to last longer than a minute. He sees the vivid greenness in Triclops’s weary, kind eyes; the same green that Hux reserves for Matt.

_Hmm…he’s like five months now if he can see in color with permanency now. And, wow, Triclops’s hair is really, really white. I think snow has more color than his hair! And those scars……they’re so old and deep; did his father do that to him when he was a boy? Wait, how old is Triclops? Because if I’m judging him by his appearance, I would say he might be like in his late 30s, but torture and stress can age a person._ He then sees a pair of somewhat chubby, at least in comparison to the General’s skeletal frame, pale arms touch Triclops’s serene face.

“My Jedi Prince, you are ready for your bath, hmm? You like your baths, but you hate the rain? You are as paradoxical as Brendol!” He hears Triclops lightly laugh like he doesn’t want hurt his son’s feelings. _Because Hux is—wait, he’s not Hux right now. I mean Hux is his last name, but it’s not what defines him at this instance. Triclops named him Armitage, so I shall call him Armitage too! Because Triclops is the best father in the galaxy who deserves more than fucking Commandant Brendol—_

“Armitage, you must stop gripping my face so tightly; I am not going to disappear.” _Yet. Because you must’ve disappeared, or more likely died, since Armitage becomes General Hux. Force, I’m getting depressed._ Armitage decides to cheer up Kylo by cooing at Triclops like some babbling little bird. _Aw, he’s cute when he’s talking……as a baby._

“You warble like one of the songbirds; you want a song, my Jedi Prince?” Armitage coos once more, and Kylo has to stop himself from squealing. Triclops smiles grandly and does what his son asks of him:

**“(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)”**

_What language is he singing in? It’s certainly not Basic nor any language that I’ve heard of…maybe it’s a language he learned on Kessel? I mean that hellhole was probably filled with a bunch of prisoners from hundreds of different planets. But it sounds ancient, and not that musty, guttural ancient of Sith, but like it came from a time before time. If that makes any sense._ Kylo, like Armitage, is enraptured by Triclops’s singing.

**“Þar sem gróir, þar er von**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**allt sem græðir geymir von**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**úr klakaböndum kemur hún fram**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**af köldum himni fikrar sig fram”**

_Those three words he keeps repeating, what do they mean? I mean the first two sound vaguely like “winter” and “summer” but I could be wrong. Aw, Armitage likes splashing in the…porcelain sink? Oh, I guess he gets baths in sinks because he’s so small. And kind of skinny. Shouldn’t babies be fatter by this time in their life? I wonder if Triclops’s milk just isn’t that fattening…or maybe Armitage doesn’t get enough because Brendol keeps—aw, Triclops is soaping up Armitage! Look at all those pink bubbles!_ Kylo excitedly watches as Armitage pops a bubble and giggles. But then Armitage begins to sniffle a little, like he’s about to go into a sneezing fit, when some sudsy soap hits his face and irritates his right eye.

**“(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**Veröld sýnist stillt, allt er kyrrt**

**allt er hljótt, kviknar von**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**meðan allt sækir fram, streymir fram**

**verður til, þá er von”**

Kylo nearly melts when he sees Triclops plant a gentle kiss on Armitage’s face, an apology for accidently getting some soap in his eye. _Chewie did that for me once when I was like five and covered in mud for some reason; I didn’t want a bath and I fought so hard against him. But he just patiently scrubbed me down until I complained about the soap getting in my eyes, and then he kissed me to make me feel better…_

**“(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**hún lýsir allt sem er**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**allt sem er og var og verður**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**uns leggst í djúpan dvala**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**Í djúpi fjallasala”**

He watches as Triclops pours a tiny, white cup of water over Armitage’s head; Armitage once more giggles. _Armitage’s laughter is so cute! And innocent! And nothing like General Hux’s; in fact, I don’t think the General is even capable of laughter. Then again, I didn’t think he was capable of looking at someone without barking orders at them. Or maybe it’s just for Matt for some reason._

**“(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)”**

_Look at Armitage’s itty-bitty fingers! They’re like shriveled up sticks of jerky……okay, jerky isn’t cute, but Armitage’s jerky fingers are! And I’ve been using cute way more than I should. But I think I should since this might be the only time in Hux’s life that he was cute. And happy. Force, I almost want to make the General happy. Almost._

**“(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**Þar sem glóir, þar er von**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**allt sem græðir geymir von**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**úr klakaböndum kemur hún fram**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**af köldum himni fikrar sig fram”**

He sees one of Triclops’s small, callused-harden hands reach behind the faucet and pull up the handle. He then leans out of Armitage’s view for a second and brings back a fluffy, purple towel with Arkanian dragons sewn into it. _Woah, that looks handstitched because I can see some of the dragons look a bit too much like Greater Krayt dragons; did Triclops make the towel? Most likely, considering everything else he does for Armitage. All. By. Himself._

**“(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**Veröld sýnist stillt, allt er kyrrt**

**allt er hljótt, kviknar von**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**meðan allt sækir fram, streymir fram**

**verður til, þá er von”**

Finally, Kylo is granted his first look at five-month-old Armitage when the baby decides to swivel his head towards the nearby mirror. _By. The. Force. He’s………SO PFASSKING CUTE! HIS HAIR! IT’S SO GINGER!!! AND HE HAS A LOT OF IT FOR A BABY! AND LOOK AT HIS BRIGHT-GREEN EYES LIKE PLANT BLOOD! He’s so small……everywhere! Man, I might actually steal Hux’s DNA and clone my own ginger baby. I’ll make sure Armitage stays Armitage!_ Kylo can feel a feral grin crawl across his face.

**“(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**hún bræðir allt sem er**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**allt sem er og var og verður**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**uns leggst í djúpan dvala**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**Í draumum fjallasala”**

Armitage waves his little hands at the mirror like he wants to touch the mysterious person in the mirror. Triclops grants his son’s desire and leans over the sink to let Armitage finally touch the mirror. He lets out a trill of joy as though he were touching one of the dragons on his towel.

**“(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**í eilíflegum hring...**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**í eilíflegum hring...**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**í eilíflegum hring...**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**í eilíflegum hring...”**

Kylo splits himself in two; half of him listens to Triclops’s sing-song, while the other half works in the real world. He turns the General on his side, so they can be face-to-face. The General is still unaware of what is happening to his body or what is even happening in his own mind. General Hux is lost to both worlds like the Angels in deep space.

**“(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)**

**(vetur, sumar, samanrenna)”**

Half of Kylo touches Hux’s face like Armitage touching his mirror-self; the other half hears giggling mirroring that of Armitage’s but it’s much deeper. _Who is that? Who is laughing? Why am I finally at peace?_ The half watching Armitage wonders, completely disconnected with his other half. Both continue their limited functions until the Light and the Dark forces them back together.

When he’s whole, Kylo sees a man made of shadows. Or shadows molded into a man’s form. The shadow man looms over him with his white mask streaked with bloody tears. His black eyes coruscate with the darkness of infinity.

Kylo screams in Hux’s mind.

Armitage reaches for the shadow man.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Comments- Okay, time to get the links out of the way: 
> 
> The song, including the lyrics from the video I pulled it from, which Triclops lulls Armitage with. I chose this song for many reasons, most of which has to do with the spoilers for Triclops’s character, but most of it for the language it is sung in. To be more precise what the song sounds for me: it reminds me of what Ancient Force-users would speak in. At least, before wars erupted between the users of the so-called Light and Dark. Is it lazy to use a language from our universe as an ancient language for another universe? Hells yes, but I’m doing it anyways: [Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxnqSTzq6-w)
> 
> The “shadow man” that Kylo and Armitage see. This isn’t going to be a spoiler because there’s not really that many characters in Star Wars, or at least in the Expanded Universe, made of fucking shadows and wears a mask with red streaks; it’s Darth Nihilus aka the Lord of Hunger! Yeah, this has gone into the very, very gray/unlikely area of the canon, but nowhere in Hux’s canon backstory does it explicitly state that he has never met Darth Nihilus. At least, in his mind. So Darth Nihilus does play a role in this story, but I have to remain mum until he’s completely brought into the light: [Link](http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/9/97/KOTOR2Nihilus.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20071122021511)
> 
> I’m going to be honest my knowledge of babies comes mostly from the Internet and not from personal experience. Odds are I’m probably wrong about when babies first see in color, but I like to believe that babies can see in color but just in bursts until they’re about five-months-old and then it becomes permanent for those who can see in color. If anyone is an expert on babies, I would love to be corrected and properly informed so I can try to be more accurate on my representations of babies in future chapters. 
> 
> Back to the story, this was supposed to be much longer and go up to Armitage’s second birthday. However, while brainstorming, I realize that I would be going at a breakneck speed through Armitage’s infancy. I don’t expect Hux to retain ALL of his memories throughout his life, especially when he’s not even a year old, but there are some, even if he can’t consciously summon them, stand-outs that somewhat lay the foundation of who he will be. Particularly that last memory which caused Kylo to scream. 
> 
> Next chapter: even more fluff.


	4. Where darkness and light are one,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren watches with great dread as Armitage begins to dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even more fluff. Oh, and Kylo gets frightened quite often during this chapter. Why? Because Darth Nihilus is the true Sith’ari. SUCK ON THAT, SIDIOUS!!

Where Do Fathers Go? Chapter Three

***

Suggested Theme:

Main Theme- I Could Not Shift the Shadow by Current 93 feat. Nick Cave

***

            “Triclops, you’re projecting again.” The shadow man dissipates and is replaced with a tiny mouth sucking on a pale chest; Kylo stops screaming. _What the pfassk was that!? Holy FUCK!! Did Armitage see that or was that part of Hux’s mind!? I mean I’m still here; I’m still watching Armitage, so maybe it wasn’t part of the General’s legendary defense! So……was it some kind of nightmare that Armitage was having? Was THAT his first nightmare?_ Kylo recalls his earliest nightmares; they all had him being choked by the Force. Eventually, they would grow in frequency and evolve in brutality; now, his nightmares involve him being torn apart by the Light and the Dark.

“Oh……he did not even cry! I remember when I first saw Darth Nihilus; I nearly pissed myself. And I remember when you first saw him, you nearly took my head off with your tremor sword!” Triclops lightly laughs, while Kylo shudders in horror. _Oh Force……that was DARTH NIHILUS!? I—I—How is that even possible!? How does Triclops and fucking Brendol Hux know about him!? It can’t be! Triclops can’t be a Force-user, particularly on the Dark Side!! He’s too………Light and he’s just a kitchen servant!_

“Merc instinct, and I did apologized _profusely_ for that!” Brendol Hux comes into Armitage’s view. Kylo gets a better second glance at the young Commandant. _Shit, he looks like a more masculine version of Hux……seriously, I think he has more muscle mass than me! And he’s still tan……like impossibly so on this rain-drenched planet. And he has a beard…hmm, he looks more like a warrior with the beard._ The Commandant has his flame-colored chin resting on Triclops’s shoulder; Triclops arches his back a bit, making Armitage’s view go slant for a second, to allow the Commandant’s arms to wind around him properly. Armitage makes noises when the Commandant decides to occupy his mouth on Triclops’s pale right nipple.

“Hmm, my milk will not last forever. I think Armitage is more weaned than you are!” Triclops lets out a short gasp when the Commandant decides to nip at his nipple. _Oh for pfassk’s sake…….I thought I was going to be spared this embarrassing memory of those two doing it! I think I even hate the Commandant even more now; at least, Leia and Han would leave me with Chewie when they did it. But, no, the Commandant doesn’t even bother putting Armitage in the crib!_

“He’s like a year-old now…should’ve I gotten him a present?” _MOTHERFUCKER DIDN’T EVEN GET HIM A PRESENT FOR HIS SON’S FIRST KRIFFING BIRTHDAY!? WHAT THE—_

“Lady Maratelle purchased him a present with your name on the receipt. No reason to fret!” Triclops smiles down at Armitage; Armitage merely sucks on his left nipple in response. _No, fucking way does Brendol get off this easily!! Triclops should be chewing him out for not even getting a present for their son’s FIRST BIRTHDAY!! You know what, once I’m done with Hux’s memories, I’m going to hunt down Brendol Hux, cut off his fucking head, put the head in a box, and give to Hux with a note reading: “Here’s the present I never got for you on your first birthday, son! Also, you should really stop being cold to Kylo Ren. The Force is tearing him apart!”_

“So what she got him? A book, I bet.” _Fuck you, you smug prick! At least, you’re LAWFUL WIFE got your bas—love child something for his birthday! You’re worse than fucking Han!_ Kylo seethes, while Triclops just merely laughs lightly as his two most favorite people in the world suck on his chest.

“Of course, it is actually a children’s book. _The Ice Dragon_ written by someone whose name is lost to this galaxy and illustrated by a wizard.” _I am starting to sense a very dragon-themed pattern in Armitage’s life. First, his father’s nickname to Brendol is Dancing Dragonsnake, then he has this dragon-patterned blanket, and now he has a book on an ice dragon? I wonder if he’ll grow up obsessed with dragons until his passion is inevitably beaten out of him by the military industrial complex……or more likely by the Commandant._

“I hope he doesn’t speak his first word. I hope he roars like the dragonling that he is!” Kylo sees the Commandant’s lips twitch into a mad grin with most of his mouth still latching onto Triclops’s right nipple. Triclops lets out a sigh.

“I swear I think you would have been happier if I laid a dragon egg rather than give birth to our very human son! Are you still carrying a torch to slay a dragon?” Kylo hears Triclops’s exasperation and is briefly reminded of Leia chiding him for doing something stupid like crashing a speeder into Varykino’s front gate. Once. Maybe, twice. _Okay, it was six times, but I was like seven and I was just learning how to drive a speeder. Back to Armitage, so Brendol Hux likes dragons…or the idea of killing one. So, he’s admitting that he would kill his own son if he was a dragon!!_

“Nah, I’ll never get to slay The Black Dragon. Or become the galaxy’s greatest swordsman. Those are the delusions of a younger man. Besides, I don’t think Armitage would be a fearsome fire-breather since most dragons are categorized as carnivores….he could be a sea dragon given his fascination for veggies and soy.” The Commandant snorts on Triclops’s chest, while Triclops shakes his head with a smile playing across his tired features. Armitage begins to drool on Triclops’s chest, not caring about the conversation between his parents about him.

“Well, he would not be a rain dragon. Hmm, perhaps he can ride a dragon one day.” _You know that might be doable, depending on the dragon in question. Maybe I could take Hux to Tython to ride the rancor—No! Hux is not Armitage! Armitage is the cutest little bastard in the world who probably needs about five fatty pounds on his tiny body! He’s making a tiny spit lake on his father’s chest! Hux would never do that!_ Kylo berates himself for not keeping the General separate from Armitage. Armitage died…..and the General arose from his ashes much like the First Order rose from the ashes of the Empire.

“One day. I hope to live to see that day.” Triclops’s smile diminishes and the Commandant tightens his grip on his beloved’s thin body. Armitage whines in distress from the sudden tension between his parents. _No……oh no, he’s going to die, isn’t he? He probably dies when Armitage is young and when he goes he takes what’s left of Brendol’s heart with him. And everything after is self-explanatory…I guess I won’t have to stay in Hux’s mind for long then._ Kylo too feels as distressed as Armitage.

“…… [Don’t die, please, don’t die.]” Brendol Hux whispers, whimpers, into Triclops’s shoulders in Pau’an. _Well, Force, he can speak Pau’an…quite well going by my own dealings with the locals on Utapau. But how did he learn the language? The words he used are the only few words I know in Pau’an, well at least that’s what the mind of the Pau’an was screaming while he was babbling to his bleeding companion. Brendol Hux was Tarkin’s aide during the Clone Wars…I think. Did Tarkin had dealings on Utapau? Or maybe Brendol learned it before the Clone Wars? Hold on, since when do I give a flying kriff about the Commandant? I fucking hate him!!_

“[I love you, my Dancing Dragonsnake, but everyone dies. I will die. You will die. Armitage will die. Someday. One day. Let us enjoy the present until it becomes the past that we will look back on. With love, I hope.]” Triclops murmurs to his loved ones in Naboo. Armitage begins to cry and his parents, both of them, rush to soothe the product of their love.

Armitage’s cries gradually ebb away much like the memory. And Kylo Ren is left in darkness once more.

*

Eons ago, death once walked through the ravaged halls of his ghost ship. The windows on the ship broke long ago, rendering a constant climate of coldness provided by the void of space. Dust still falls and sticks like frost on the dented, rusted surfaces of this long-dead ship. Wires from the torn-up control panels still spark madly while broken pipes jut out from the rusted walls. The barracks still contain frayed beds and dying lights but have long stood empty. There are computers forever sleeping with their readouts sticking out of them like broken ribs of skeletons. There are not even skeletons of the barely-living zombies that once manned this ship; they have chosen oblivion over death.

All that remains is Darth Nihilus aboard his long-forgotten _Ravager_.

He is on the bridge, right in his clamshell-shaped command station free of any computers. He is looking out the large viewport; he has been looking out there for nearly three millennia. He used to roam the halls, searching for the something that he cannot name. He knows that he should return to the Force, to accept his own oblivion, but he is waiting for something. For the something that he cannot name. For the something that the Force cannot provide him.

He has long since disconnected himself from the Force. People, mostly Sith Lords, contact him through his holocron, but he has long since refused their calls. All they want is what all Sith Lords want: knowledge that is power. What is the point of catering to a mass that wants something so jejune? They do not stir any feelings within him much like the Force.

He wants to feel. More importantly, he wants to feel the something that he cannot name.

And so he waits.

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Comments- Okay, time to get the links out of the way: 
> 
> First, the music in which helped me write Darth Nihilus at the end: [Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4z1hHhuFYc)
> 
> Here is a picture of Darth Nihilus’s Ravager on the outside: [Link](http://lparchive.org/Knights-of-the-Old-Republic-II/Update%2054/img-49.JPG)
> 
> Here is the viewport in which Darth Nihilus has been gazing out from for a couple of millennia: [Link](http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/7/7c/Ravagerbridge.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20070409210411)
> 
> Okay, I have read only the wiki of Darth Nihilus and he’s………the Sith’ari! You know that Sith God that Palpatine proclaimed himself being by the end of the Book of Sith, even though it’s proven that he’s no god. Darth Nihilus is literally a being of shadows occupying some armor and a mask! And he somehow gets killed? I call bullshit because how the fuck do you kill a man LITERALLY made of shadows who uses his own willpower to power a ship while also feeding on planets!? He is manning a LITERAL ghost ship!! Seriously, Sidious may be manipulative as fuck, but he’s not MYTHICALLY POWERFUL as Darth Nihilus. I mean Darth Vader seems like a discount Darth Nihilus……you know if Darth Nihilus actually exists in the new canon. 
> 
> The canon has yet to name all of the past Sith Lords, at least with the books that I have at my disposal, so I decided to bring Darth Nihilus formally into the story. Kind of. I mean the story itself is barely canon compliant at this point. And I’m also adding more fluff that I didn’t intend to, most likely just wanting baby Armitage Hux to be as happy for as long as possible much like Kylo Ren. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is foreshadowing…..so you’ve been warned.


	5. And as you tread the halls of sanity.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren watches, quite judgmentally, as Armitage takes his first steps and speaks his first words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must warn you: this chapter gets extra fluffy and Kylo Ren still hates Brendol Hux. Okay, that last part is not really a warning. It’s a fact….for this series. I don’t know much about the new canon, but then again the only book I have for the new canon is James Luceno’s Tarkin and I’m not planning on buying any other books of the new canon for now. Because I am out of money and my bookshelf is out of space.
> 
> Oh, and further disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Star Wars universe; I just like to write stories in that universe.

Where Do Fathers Go? Chapter Four

****

Suggested Theme:

Main Theme- Push The Sky Away by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

****

            The shadow man, as Kylo Ren likes to call the memory of Darth Nihilus, is once more bleeding into Armitage’s dreams. Or, perhaps, creating nightmares for the innocent babe. He sees Darth Nihilus gazing out of a broken viewport on the _Ravager_ before cutting back to reality where Armitage tries to walk. He would shakenly stand for four seconds before tumbling to the black-and-white zigzag rug. Kylo watches him repeat this process at least ten times. _How often does Triclops think, or really dream, about Darth Nihilus? I think this is like the second time this……year? Hold on, shouldn’t Armitage be like in bed or something with Triclops? How did we get to Armitage just walking already? I mean Armitage is trying to walk. He somewhat stands and then falls flat on his skinny baby butt. So he’s probably almost two. I feel like……he should be able to walk by now or at least say his first words. Well, it’s different for every baby; he’s not like me where I was apparently talking and walking before I was even one! And causing a lot of trouble with my Force powers…_

“Dragonling, perhaps you’re better off at flying than walking.” Brendol Hux remarks while staring down at Armitage who is flat on his back after his latest failed attempt to stand by himself. They are not in Triclops’s room today; instead, they appear to be in Brendol Hux’s study. _Kriff, the entire room is red and it’s not like lipstick red. It’s more like the red an eye would get when a blood vessel has just burst; this color is actually hurting my eyes. Isn’t there some psychological effect of pain behind that particular shade of red? Yeah……I mean I feel like my eyes got slashed from just looking at the color. So why the Hells would Brendol Hux let his not-even-two-year-old in a room where it evokes pain? Oh right, it’s because he’s a sadistic fuck who never loved his son!!_

“You’re very lucky that this rug is as soft as shimmersilk rope because I think you would’ve cracked your skull by now.” Brendol Hux smiles, showing his teeth like a rancor-wolf to a drunken bantha. Armitage rolls to his side and tries once more too stand, but he only stand for about three seconds before falling and landing on his hands like a ginger cat. _You go, Armitage, show that patronizing prick that you can walk!! And where the pfassk is Triclops? Why the Hells is Armitage left with the man who helped sire him but refuses to be a father!? He might as well left him with Maratelle……unless she’s somehow worse than the Commandant. Is Triclops the only good person in Armitage’s life?_

“Who’d you get the perseverance from? Not me, that’s for sure. I can’t do anything for myself. Not from Triclops either because……well, he’s got his stalwart visions. And you’ve got nothing from your grandfather…you’re not evil. So why do you keep standing up when you’ve fallen so many times?” _I can’t tell if he’s complimenting Armitage or judging him. And the Commandant is quite self-deprecating or maybe accepting of his own flaws? And who is this evil grandfather that he speaks of? Is it Triclops’s father or the Commandant’s own father? If it’s his, it might explain why he’s uninterested in being Armitage’s other father._ Kylo cheers as Armitage gets up once more.

“Well, you’re as tough as any dragon, aren’t you? But still too small, dragonling.” _Hey, mutant-fucker, maybe if you stopped STEALING his milk then he might be bigger! I mean Hux is kind of tall as an adult, but he’s skinny as pfassking pole! I think he might be like ten pounds underweight! Maybe this milk-stealing as an infant like affected Hux later in life; maybe he got so used to having his milk stolen that he doesn’t eat his meals fully. Then again, the food on the Finalizer tastes blander than paper. I really should get Hux to invest more in chefs that can actually cook and ingredients that aren’t just nutritionally acceptable._ Armitage falls after standing precariously for seven seconds.

“Enough already, you’ve been doing this for nearly an hour now. Time to take a break and watch _Northwest Passage_ with me.” Brendol Hux goes down and scoops Armitage up in his muscular arms. Armitage growls like a Condor dragon and pounds his little fists in the Commandant’s barrel chest. _Oh. My. Dark Side! THAT IS SO CUTE!!! I’m just floored at how absolutely adorable Armitage is being!! He’s acting like the dragonling that he is and is even trying to claw the shit out of the Commandant. You go, Armitage!_ Kylo cheers and melts at the fire of Armitage’s ferocity.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re pissed that I’m not letting you hurt yourself. Well, tough poodoo, dragonling.” The Commandant then turns around to give Armitage and Kylo their first view of his desk. The top of the desk desk made of polished, white granite while the rest is made of red marble with gold columns and trimmings; the front has an interesting metal picture of Old Republic men arguing over something trivial. The front sides have deep indentions like they were altars to miniature statues that have long since perished. _Well, shit, being a Commandant during the Empire obviously paid well! I mean this looks like an ancient antique from the Old Republic! It should be in an art museum or something._

Brendol Hux takes a seat in his black leather chair and Kylo hears the Commandant rummaging through one of the luscious red drawers, all the while with Armitage still attacking his chest for his freedom. The Commandant remains unwounded and unburnt. He then hears something clattering on the desk and the Commandant finally turning Armitage around. _Woah, that datapad is like the size of Armitage’s kriffing body and damn thick! What is that from like thousands of years ago?_ Propped up on the beautiful desk is a rusty-red datapad that looks more like a clubbing device than a sophisticated piece of technology. It starts up with loud processing noises sounding like if Artoo got a virus and shows a blurry screen of bleary-green icons. The Commandant presses the one that looks a lot like twin mountain peaks dripping with corn meal.

“Episode fourteen will be your very first experience of _Northwest Passage_! I’m actually excited with sharing this first with you. This might be the only first I get to have with just you.” Brendol softly murmurs as Armitage continues to protests by waving his arms like a baby turtle flopping against the hold of a touchy tourist. It takes a minute before Armitage resigns to his captivity. _Woah, they don’t even have speeders on the show! And the mills aren’t even run by droids! Is this show like pre-Old Republic? The technology looks so old……but the cinematography is shot nicely and the music has that soft-spoken, jazzy quality to it. Kind of like a good noir show meets an art-house holo._

“Oh, and Coop is the best person in the entire galaxy.” Brendol excitedly whispers into Armitage’s tiny ear; Kylo can hear the smile breaking across the Commandant’s bearded face. _Correction, Darth Vader is the best person in the entire galaxy. And this Coop guy comes across as a pfassking weirdo with an obsession for jelly-filled donuts and caf._ Kylo huffs and sits through what he deems a soap-holo with supernatural elements.

And for almost thirty minutes, Kylo watches one of the strangest shows that he has ever seen. From what he gathers, in the first twenty minutes, the premise is about the murder of the blonde-hair and blue-eyed Prom King of this town called Northwest Passage and this Coop guy is investigating it. But there’s also some incredulous subplots like an eye-patch-wearing weirdo that thinks she’s a high schooler or a down-on-their-luck couple taking care of a giant cob of corn. And then it gets even weirder from there.

_Okay, Coop is dreaming in somewhere called The Blue Room. There’s a giant and a dwarf speaking backwards and forwards. The giant looks really sad and keeps saying, “It is happening again.” And then Coop is back in the bar with the sheriff guy and the Plank Woman; he’s looking very distraught and so are some of the Prom King’s friends. And it cuts to—HOLY KRIFF!!! WHAT THE PFASSK, BRENDOL!! YOU CAN’T LET YOUR INFANT SON SEE THIS!!!_ Kylo watches in horror as the Prom King’s father, possessed by a demon named TOM, dances with the Prom King’s nearly-identical second cousin and then bashes the poor brunette’s head in through a painting. The brunette is screaming and screaming in that big house for help as the demon in his uncle’s body just keeps smashing his head in. He gets away for a moment but is so disoriented that he crashes into the sofa. All of this happening in slow-motion and the voices are slowed into deep, monstrous tones that remind Kylo of when his vocoder malfunctioned that one time.

“And goodbye, Mattie.” The Commandant’s voice practically whistles into Armitage’s ears. _I-I-what? Is he actually kriffing happy that innocent, at least way, way more innocent than the Prom King, boy got brutally murdered by his uncle who is clearly the one who raped and murdered his own son!! Okay, the demon inside him did it, but WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? By the Force, please let Triclops come and get Armitage already; the Commandant is just……kriffing up Armitage._ And the Force answers, Kylo hears the door to the study creeping open and Armitage looks up to see Triclops.

“And look at my two favorite men in the galaxy, bonding like father and son. What did you two do?” Triclops practically coos at them. _THEY ARE NOT FATHER AND SON!! YOU AND ARMITAGE ARE FATHER AND SON!!! A FATHER DOESN’T LET THEIR INFANT WATCH SOMETHING LIKE A DEMON-POSSESSED UNCLE BEATING AND KILLING HIS GREEN-EYED NEPHEW!!! EVEN HAN DIDN’T SHOW ME VIOLENT STUFF LIKE THIS UNTIL I WAS LIKE NINE!!! WOULD YOU LEAVE THAT NO-GOOD NERF HERDER ALREADY!!!!!_

“Watching Mattie getting murdered by Uncle TOM, right, dragonling?” Brendol answers in a sing-song voice, while Armitage gurgles in response and holds out his arms to Triclops. _Pfassk it, as soon as this memory is over, I’m going to murder Brendol Hux. I am going to avenge Armitage’s innocence!!_ Kylo vows as strongly as Armitage’s desire to be held by Triclops. Triclops grants his son’s desire and takes him from Brendol’s hold. Armitage immediately begins touching his face and cooing happily.

“It is such a beautiful episode. It is horror tempered with love……an apt description for Lauren Pilgrim. Did you love the dancing between doppelgängers, my Jedi Prince?” Armitage nuzzles against Triclops’s pale neck and drools on him; Triclops chuckles in turn.

“He better not be giving you a hickey. Bad enough, he scarred you.” The Commandant nearly growls out; Triclops rolls his hill-green eyes at his possessiveness. _He’s fucking jealous of a baby! OF HIS OWN BABY!!! Seriously, what the Hells did Triclops ever see in this immature, muscle-bound bastard! I hope he leaves him………oh, is that what happens? Did Triclops just simply grow fed up with Brendol and left his son behind? Or Brendol refused to let Triclops take Armitage with him out of spite? I……I would rather have Triclops die than abandon Armitage._ Kylo feels his physical-self wrap tightly around Hux’s thin form.

“He scarred me with love. Just like I did with you.” _Well, that’s new. And where exactly? And was it with a laser whip or a flaming cat-o’-nine-tails? Or a mace? I will take anything at this point._ Kylo hears the slight hiss of the leather chair being pushed and sees Brendol approaching the happy family. He wraps his strapping arms behind Triclops’s flat middle and rests his head on his skeletal shoulder.

“Yes, and I took your right upper molar. A circle of love.” Triclops and Brendol smile down at the clueless Armitage. _What. The. Fuck? Why is Triclops smiling!? THE COMMANDANT TOOK A KRIFFING TOOTH FROM HIM!!! Okay, before murdering the Commandant, I’m going to take his right upper molar!_

“A dance of love if I recall. Much like the final moments of Mattie.” Brendol slips away from them and returns to his desk. Kylo hears the familiar sounds of fingers tapping against a datapad’s fragile surface. He hears distant music and the beating of drums; it sounds like a heart wrenching in despair.

_“I was riding, I was riding._

_The sun was rising up from the fields.”_

Triclops lowers Armitage onto the black-and-white rug. Kylo can see Triclops slipping by his tot and going to where the music is playing, where Brendol is. He wraps his sinewy arms around Brendol’s meaty neck, while Brendol paws at his shapeless waist.

_“I got a feeling I just can’t shake_

_I got a feeling that just won’t go away_

_You’ve just gotta keep on pushing_

_Keep on pushing_

_Push the sky away”_

Through the eyes of the dragonling, his parents dancing is much like watching them fuck. They move languidly, feeling, touching, caressing, uncovering each other, but this time it is only with their coarse hands. Yet, their eyes are the same here, tangled in each other’s arms, as it is in the bedroom: they are full of love.

_“And if your friends think that you do it different_

_And if they think that you should do it the same_

_You’ve gotta just keep on pushing_

_Keep on pushing_

_Push the sky away”_

Through the eyes of the knight, the couples’ dance reminds him of a holovid he used to watch as a child. A beast resplendent in blue would waltz with a beauty in gold to the tune of a fairytale. And just like couple, Brendol Hux and Triclops are deeply in love, happily nescient of their tragic future.

_“And if you feel you got everything you came for_

_If you got everything & you don’t want no more_

_You’ve gotta just keep on pushing_

_Keep on pushing_

_Push the sky away”_

The dragonling wants them. He wants to reach them, to get their attention. Crying is useful to indicate hunger, but he is not hungry for milk.

_“And some people say that it is just rock n’ roll_

_Oh but it gets right down to your soul_

_You’ve gotta just keep on pushing_

_Keep on pushing_

_Push the sky away”_

The knight wants Armitage. He wants to take Armitage away from them, to keep him Armitage forever. But this is just a memory of a child long-dead.

_“You’ve gotta just keep on pushing_

_Keep on pushing_

_Push the sky away”_

Armitage squirms like it’s raining hard again. He wants them badly. But they are far away, he has to stand and walk like them.

_“You’ve gotta just keep on pushing_

_Keep on pushing_

_Push the sky away”_

Kylo watches as a miracle unfolds. Armitage alters his world’s view by being steady. The giants, his parents, are still dancing without a thought about their son. They are still giants to him, but he feels as though he’s finally gotten a little bit taller. He looks down at his red boots with golden laces.

He moves one red-booted foot forward and does not fall. He then moves the other foot in front of the other and still does not fall. _You’re walking, Armitage, you’re walking!!_ Kylo cheers on Armitage during his odyssey to meet with the oblivious, dancing pair. When he makes it to the black-booted feet of the Commandant’s and the silver-slippers of Triclops, he finally looks up.

A green eye stares down him through the white strands of Triclops’s head.

_HOLY SHIT—_

“ _Lo……ve m……e_.” Kylo flips from shock to utter delight at hearing Armitage’s first words. His voice warbles like a songbird but does not grate Kylo’s nerves like General Hux’s voice. His parents stop dancing and turn to look down at him.

“L-love me.” Armitage’s untried voice squeaks out. The Commandant looks in surprise at the fact that Armitage is actually standing without immediately falling on his little ass. Triclops is smiling triumphantly down at him.

“My vision was correct about leaving Armitage in your care. My Jedi Prince can finally walk and talk.” Armitage reaches out to Triclops’s loose, dark trousers and tugs at them.

“Love me.” This time Armitage demands firmly with a slight growl. Brendol actually smiles sincerely at their son’s little roar. Triclops reaches down and picks him up, and gives him the love that he so craves. With a tender kiss on his tiny lips.

“Always.”

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Comments- Okay, here are the links: 
> 
> Brendol Hux’s study is based upon the Red Room or the Black Lodge from Twin Peaks because I don’t know what Brendol Hux’s manor looks like in the canon, so I based some rooms in the manor on certain rooms from my favorite TV shows. Or, well, most of them: [Link](http://www.johncoulthart.com/feuilleton/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/peaks2.jpg)
> 
> Brendol Hux’s stone desk that he watches Northwest Passage on with Armitage. Oh, and fun fact, Brendol Hux stole that desk during the Clone Wars from someone famous: [Link](http://img.diytrade.com/cdimg/1566563/28502714/0/1346665142/Stone_desk.jpg)
> 
> The song in which Brendol Hux and Triclops danced to: [Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbGJgrBsgng&index=7&list=FLDUNpQvIuyyRAQhQJw8Hu4A)
> 
> Northwest Passage was actually one of the names that Twin Peaks was supposed to have. So I decided to use the name for an almost parody show of Twin Peaks but for the Star Wars universe. Also, episode fourteen of Northwest Passage is based on Twin Peaks’s “Lonely Souls” episode which is also episode fourteen of the series; it’s like one of the most frightening episodes I have seen, not counting pretty much any episode of Hannibal. I don’t know the names of the shows they watch in that universe and I still have yet to watch Clone Wars so I’m just spit-balling when it comes to shows. I got the idea for the parody from this very informative video and I would suggest you go and watch Twin Peaks because it’s a fascinating, cosmic weird: [Link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKkrrtwnjU8&index=1&list=FLDUNpQvIuyyRAQhQJw8Hu4A)
> 
> Now, with the links out of the way, time to focus on this chapter. Last chapter, I’ll admit the ending of it seemed quite abrupt and disjointed from the first half. Hopefully, I remedied that with the beginning of this chapter. And, yes, Armitage dreams about Darth Nihilus quite often. Like more than Kylo knows about, but that doesn’t mean Armitage remembers all of them. But he’s definitely familiar with Darth Nihilus. 
> 
> I originally planned for this chapter to go from Armitage walking and talking to him learning how to read, but then I realized that seems a lot for this chapter. There’s already enough going on with Armitage learning to walk and talk, along with Kylo’s brattish commentary. So next chapter is going to be about Armitage learning how to read and, like always, Kylo loses his shit. 
> 
> Seriously, I think Armitage is like a magnet for Dark Siders. I bet even Darth Vader would want to kidnap Armitage. Speaking of which…..

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Comments- So I was supposed to be working on the next one-shot for Matt the Friend series or at least write another chapter of Hatchling. But then I decided to write this, which was actually supposed to be a one-shot. It was supposed to be an overview of a more canonical interpretation of Hux’s backstory; and when I finished it, I would just write a bunch of one-shots to fully flesh out my, barely, canonical version of his backstory. 
> 
> Yeah, that did not happen. So I decided to do a, massive, multi-chapter story where I put in the effort to fully detail Hux’s past without cutting corners in a one-shot. And considering my track record when it comes to multi-chapter stories, like Hatchling where I only planned six chapters but have yet to even post another chapter, I don’t think this will be finish by the end of this year. Or next. Or even the next one after that. So expect it to be a slow burn that will probably turn into an alternative universe: canon divergence depending on the future of the canon. 
> 
> Okay, back to the story, I know, I know, this is like the second time I used Kylo Ren pretending to be Matt the Radar Technician to trick Hux trope. However, unlike my obviously, supremely canon diverging series of Matt the Friend, this one is where I try to be canon compliant. And, well, I guess I succeed if you believe in grey areas. Armitage Hux is vastly different from Brendol “Fae” Hux II, especially considering how Armitage is General Hux’s canon name, where his life…..is just fucking miserable. 
> 
> When I was drafting up the story, while trying to keep the canon background information in mind, I felt really sad. Because if I just go solely based on the canon presented, it’s really easy to assume that Brendol Hux viewed his weak son as a tool and never loved him, while his “kitchen servant parent” (and wait until the next chapter how I play with it) probably loved him (if you want to be cliché about it) or only had him to get money out of Brendol Hux. And then there’s Maratelle Hux, Brendol Hux’s lawful wife, who, on the wiki, only gets a name and nothing else like what are her feelings to her husband’s affair or her treatment of Armitage. It’s even easier to assume that Maratelle Hux either ignored/avoided Armitage as much as possible or hated him because Hux’s presented, canonical background so far just reminds me of the basic stuff you would write for a resentful bastard character. 
> 
> So I went “fuck it” I’m just going to take advantage of the Hux’s background story bones that are in the wiki and just fill it in with my new headcanons. Along with injecting/stapling some stuff from the Expanded Universe, except there won’t be a Grand Admiral Thrawn in this story (but he will be in Rebels season three). And just like with Matt the Friend, I must give out this warning: I am not strictly faithful to the canon or Legends, so if you want monogamy, then this story is probably not for you.


End file.
